Friendship wasn’t something I understood when I was younger. I was quiet, and because of that, no one really wanted to be friends with me. It was hard to understand other kids, and I didn’t know how to cope with social situations. Talking to someone for a while didn’t feel like a real connection—it was just temporary.
Struggling to Find Friends
I went to a Chinese school, and it was a difficult experience. I faced a lot of bullying, not just from kids but even from teachers. It was overwhelming, and I begged my parents to move me to another school. When I finally transferred, I was able to get close to one or two girls, and that friendship lasted until Primary 6.
Realizing the Difference
As I got older, I noticed how friendships changed. People grow, their interests shift, and their way of thinking evolves. When I reunited with my childhood friends in my 20s, I felt happy at first. But over time, I realized I couldn’t keep up with them. They liked talking behind each other’s backs, and I hate to admit it—I joined in. It was a toxic cycle, and I hated how I acted in that environment.
That was when I realized not all friendships are good for you. It’s not that my childhood friends were bad people. They helped me when I asked, and we had good times. But they were still stuck in an immature phase, and staying around them wouldn’t help me grow into a better person. I didn’t want to be trapped in a high school mindset forever.
Finding a True Friend
Surprisingly, my real friendship didn’t come from childhood but from college. I met a friend who, despite being in different classes, always hung out with me. That was in 2019, and now in 2025, we’re still in contact. She’s a few years older than me, and we connect through our love for the same games. Even though we never play them together since they’re single-player games, we always talk about them. What makes her different from the rest is how she genuinely cares—she even sends gifts to my daughter. That’s when I knew she was a real friend.
What I’ve Learned About Friendship
I’ve realized I can’t keep up with everyone, and that’s okay. Having just one true friend is enough. Finding common ground is important, but if a friendship is filled with toxic behavior, it’s best to walk away. I used to ignore my instincts, but now I trust them—if something feels really bad, it probably is.
This one friend I have now makes me see friendships differently. It’s not about how many people you have around; it’s about the quality of the connection. I used to think I needed a big social circle, but now I’m comfortable with just one real friend who truly understands me.
Final Thoughts
If you’re struggling with friendships, take a moment to reflect. Are the people around you helping you grow, or are they keeping you stuck in the past? It’s okay to outgrow people, and it’s okay to have just one or two real friends. In the end, friendship isn’t about numbers—it’s about finding someone who genuinely cares about you, and that’s worth more than a hundred casual connections.